The Window of Tolerance This refers to the amount of emotional discomfort we can manage while still being able to think clearly and choose how to respond. When you are within that...

The Window of Tolerance This refers to the amount of emotional discomfort we can manage while still being able to think clearly and choose how to respond. When you are within that window, you can feel anxious and still remain present. Once the anxiety moves beyond it, you might become overwhelmed, panicked or agitated. Or you might shut down completely. If you feel like your window of tolerance is quite narrow right now, the good news is that it can gradually become wider and expand. You can expand your window of tolerance through small, repeated experiences of feeling discomfort and discovering that you can cope with it. Start with an everyday situation that brings up a small amount of anxiety. If we had to rate the discomfort, think about a three out of ten. It could be beginning a task you’ve been avoiding or sitting with an unanswered message for a little longer. Notice the discomfort and try to stay with it for a few seconds before you distract yourself, avoid the situation or try to make the feeling disappear. Pay attention to what the anxiety does. It may rise, settle or move around, but you can experience it without immediately reacting to it. Keep practising with the same small situation. Once that feels more manageable, you can increase the difficulty slightly, to for example, a discomfort level of four on ten. This is how you build your capacity to stay with discomfort a little longer. You’re teaching yourself that anxiety can feel uncomfortable without being dangerous. You can then choose what to do next.