Sitting on the buss to the next town. Anxiety in my stomach. I Will have to wait 5 minutes there and change buss. I bought a diet Coke and now waiting for the other buss. Shaking little. ”you are safe” i keep telling my self. Im on the buss. Just me, driver and an old man. ”You are safe”. ”O my , how fast he drives”” you are safe”. ”ItS so loud…you are safe”. I feel a little bit calmer when i close my eyes. Only 15 minutes left. ”If i get dizzy it Will pass”. Finaly i got of. Waiting for my son. My safety and love. I have been wanting to go to him alone for so long. Just me. On the buss again. After 5 hours at my beloved son. It was so good to meet him, but though to. I know how my anxiety works….NOW when i am on my way home it feels calmer. And i get so angry….way couldnt it be calm when i was with him!?? I have to change buss again to get home. But now i almost cant feel the anxiety at all!! And of couse i feel guilty conscience to my son beacuse i have to leave him. Its me one women and driver. 10 minutes left on this buss. Waiting outside for the last buss to take me home. Outside feels better. The heat in the last buss is terrible!! ”” Driver slow down!”You are safe”. Soon at home in my safe house! I hope i can do better if i go to him again.
