Well! Today is done! First flight completed 1hr 45minutes and it was a nightmare, but I still got through it slowly! There was way too many weird noises for me and turbulance was a lot, also music didnt cancel them out well enough for me, distractions helped a little but loop earplugs helped the most they almost completely silenced everything and took me away from the situation without having to spiral into really deep hyperventilation or panic in general I did panic on the plane but yet again I listened to music, and one of Peters talk down audios and took myself away form the situation mentally which really helped Next: train rides for a total of 2 hrs 45 minutes , we carried both our bags from the plane to the train and had a small drink break before heading on, most people slept on the train but I just listened to music and couldn't sleep at all ni matter where I was at, I was too worried about my environment Next was getting food and head on a bus for 30 minutes, we ordered pizzas from pizza hut and I ate my half within 30minutes, since it was the choise of eating it then or when we got to our sleeping place and I like my pizza hot. That was good and I enjoyed it but I think I enjoyed it more since I didnt have that big of a lunch due to sensory issues with eating and I only had a small snack for breakfast. I was mainly focused on being safe and getting to where I needed to be, and I did that!! we carried 15kg bags on our backs and smaller lighter backpackes on our front all day but going from plane to train to bus to the place we are staying really killed me, especially the walk from the bus stop to our sleeping place, the bags rubbed and they really weighed me down, I had a few small panic attacks while carrying those because of how crap it made me feel, my body aches all over and im already very hyperfocused about every little thing that my body does so as you can imagine this made my anxiety a lot worse. im also glad that there were people who I could talk to about it before it got bad and they helped calm me down a little I have done so much more than I thought I would, especially because I didnt realise there would be THIS MUCH travelling in places I normally avoid or have terrible times in. It also helped that I sat nearer to exits and people I can talk to, even if they ended up falling asleep, and a massive relief was it not being busy, I definitely couldn't have done that if it was busy. Overall, im surprised im here, the place we are staying at is cozy and also has a nightlight (which is great for me because im still scared of the dark since it boosts my anxiety and lot of the time) im hoping this headache will go away in time for tomorrow and I hope my body doesn't ache as much in the morning, but for now im here and im safe and most importantly...I DID IT!! Even if it dont make it past the morning tomorrow im so proud of myself, this is something way too out of my comfort zone and ive always thought this was definitely going to be too much, and it probably is, but I'll deal with that when the time comes I am insanely sorry for the waffling and well done if you've read on this far, thanks for listening and I hope youre all doing well xx
