Woke up as usual instantly anxious, heart feels thuddy, stomach is in knots and wanting to cry. After an hour or two of lying in bed trying to calm the symptoms I got up and got dressed knowing it wasn't going to help me feel better. I wandered the house for a bit and decided I needed to break this cycle today. I walked up the road, not far but just to the top and then back down again. Spotted a house sparrow and ticked it off on my bird finding app I'm trying to get into. I felt a bit better, the physical symptoms had gotten a bit quieter. I still wanted to cry but I think that might be to release some emptions. I feel anxious when I come back to the house, like it isn't a safe feeling space for me right now and I'm associating it with anxiety and feeling hopeless. I went back out, to the shops to get some food in for dinner. Anxiety is still feeling high but I'm now sat in my room again, exhausted and worked up but I'm trying.
