The situation as of 1.06am, 27.06. I have to wake up early, i should be already asleep, or at least in bed. I am at least showered. And i am waiting for my mcflurry to be delivered. Most of all, in this precise moment, I feel free and happy. *order arrived* I think a lot of my anxiety comes from expectations. Unmet expectations from society. Some weird societal rules that i measure myself up to. Maybe not even so much society, but family, my mother. For some reason this is completely unacceptable, weird behavior. And I punish myself. Why am I still awake when i have to wake up early? Why am i ordering an ice cream at 1am? Why can't I walk the 5 minutes to McDonald's and pick it up myself? Why? Because this is what i want to do right now! I am an adult. I live and should live by my own rules. My rules are that mcflurries are allowed at any time of the day. And why feel bad about it? I try to listen to my own voice, or at least i am learning to, and not the voice of my parents or that of society. In a broader spectrum, so what if I am 'different' or 'weird'? I am special. We are all special! Cheers to all of you with my delightful mcflurry :)
