It has been about a week that I have been feeling sadness, anger, rage and yesterday it was intense. After a long day of work and cleaning the house, I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to get out to a square close by /one of my 'safe' places/ and simply walk it out by doing laps. I lost track of time and it ended up being a 1 hour walk. Usually when I feel intense emotions I try to calm them down, 'invite positivity', meditation etc. Yesterday all I wanted to do was scream and rage and throw a tantrum. So I power-walked, clenching my fists, loud music, and silently raged against everything and everyone. In my mind, I swore, I shouted, I named everything I hated at that moment. I dug my heels at every step. In my mind I was throwing stuff at cars, pushing stuff around.. In the evening there is usually a lot of runners post-work, and I envied them for feeling free and seeming to run without any worries - in my mind I swore at each one of them. It was LIBERATING! Mid-way I felt no longer anxious. I did work up myself quite a bit in terms of the anger, but didn't stop walking until I got bored. Before going back home I sat down for 5 minutes to calm down, tell myself that the anger walk was done. I went back home to find that my partner has cooked dinner, lit candles and chosen a movie to watch together. And albeit a shitty day for the most part, going to bed I felt that it had been a very good day. I want to share this with all of you, as I think many others feel anger/frustration at one point or another with the presence of anxiety in their life. Express it, don't keep it in. My next goal is to find a place, most likely in nature, where I can shout out loud. I feel like that would be also very liberating. But for now I will scream under water in my bathtub..
