Something I have come to learn through my relationship with my anxiety is that anxiety is vivid imagination. Anxious people are probably the most imaginative people on the planet, creating scenarios, imagining outcomes, coming up with stories, etc. I've learned that channeling some of that "creative" energy helps make me feel calm and more compassionate towards my anxiety. Today I tried watercolor for the first time, painting this yarrow flower from my garden. It was hot and sunny, I was afraid I was going to mess up, I had just eaten lunch so my heart rate was a little high. Prior to joining this group I might have just sat in bed, waiting for permission to feel "safe" enough to watercolor but I didn't do that today. I feel like these small acts of exposure have helped me see how the rules I've followed are rules that I placed on myself out of wanting some semblance of the illusion of safety. A reflective question that guided me today was: what would happen if I didn't have any rules? I guess I can paint some flowers instead.
