For the first time in whole life had MRI today. I was Hella scared that I took a shot of calming medicine that I have not used for some weeks. My heart was pounding out my chest and I started to disconnect from my body. But it wasn't so bad (for me) the doctor was very very nice which already made me feel safe and also she gave me a stress toy. She also put a towel on eyes cause darkness helps me. All those little things did help me get through it! There was a moment where had to pause all cause of panic attack but she was there and held my hand until I could continue again. And by the end I realised it's not so bad. It was weird to be in some kind small place just not moving and having sounds all around but I tried to be in my thoughts like telling myself this is hospital and if anything they will help, I'm seen and heard and I'm not alone. And also kept daydreaming to get rid of the noise so much, like zone out since towel covered all so didn't had anything to look at but that's good cause when I peeked below towel I could see the small place I was on and it snapped me back into reality making me anxious so I tried to not do that. So in end it wasn't a bad experience, definitely scary but nice. Walking out the hospital I was laughing about how I a 21 year old had a stress kids toy and she needed to hold my hand but then again it melted my heart. Made me feel safe. Now gonna wait for answers and hope it's nothing bad!
