Its been so long since I posted a win I couldn't remember how to do it! Its been a difficult winter, but honestly not as bad as they usually are. But I am still coping. So this past weekend we had a friend come stay with us from out of state. he is my husbands business associate but also a close family friend. I really like when comes to see us, but it always requires going out a lot. He was here for 4 days and unfortunately he was sick while he was here. He drove up to see us and said he felt totally fine when he left his house, I know he wouldn't have purposefully come here knowing he was sick. That was challenge number one. Dealing with a sick person in my house, but it seems it was just a cold so not a big deal and was able to cope. Every night he wanted to go out to eat. Which is what we always do when he is around. Going out is a big issue for me. Every night before leaving the anxeity would ramp up and I each night I almost stayed home. I didn't though. I made myself go. Going out at night is harder than going out during the day. By the time we got to the place we were going to eat I'd always feel better. I think that is progress, because usually I would feel anxious the entire time I was out. One night after dinner we took the kids to the local arcade. I had such a great time. This feels stupid to admit too but I played a lot of pinball and the machine really triggered me. It was loud and vibrated a lot. Getting anxiety from a pinball machine feel dumb. I wouldn't judge others for it, but I judged myself for it. I was so mad at myself for it, I made myself keep playing it. I just kept pumping tokens into that machine until It no longer bothered me. Which I know is the right thing to do. But the internal rage I felt that I had to do that......its indescribable. But I did it, I conquered it. I also played quite a few games with my daughter, and that was really an amazing experience. We don't do a lot of fun things together. We mostly just work together so I'm glad we had that. This is feels like rambling now
