I know i havnt posted or been online for a while, ive been through probably one of the most extreme downfalls ive had in a very long time. Ive also got examinations starting this monday and its making my situation worse, ive almost dropped out so many times but i feel like ive come so far, and am almost done (about 4 months left) and then i never have to do it again, if i stop now i know ill have to face the tests another day anyways (which is why im ament to be doing them now, i was ament to be done with these about a year ago now). Instead im choosing to attempt to ride with the anxiety instead of against it. One of my dads friend i got on really well with died suddenly a month or so back, and got put to rests a few weeks ago ive also had my aunties cats passing yesterday too so the problems have been piling and piling, ive been to emergancy rooms many times aswell which has broke my streak of not going for about 6 months prior to that. Ive also been trying to get further professional help than what i was getting but its not really working out for me still. My wins are that ive pushed through all of that, the anxiety, the massive boost in amount and severity of panic and anxiety attacks and more and still am (struggling but) fighting it because im determined to get through it. I know theres ups and downs in the jouney to recovery and ive gotta keep my head high to look for the light at the end of the tunnel I hope youre all doing well, i believe in all of you and am so increidble proud of all the wins youve all achieved! Seriously! Well done to all of you!!
