Hey! First of all I want to start of with saying sorry, I know I dont need to be but as some of you may (or may not) have realised but I havnt been as active recently, and i havnt commented on many wins this month. I do read all of them and I am incredibly proud of all of you!! Seriously its amazing how many wins are being posted! I have been in a really dark place and ive struggled a lot recently due to varies different reasons but yesterday I feel like I made some real progress and decided I should share it Yesterday I got in contact with one of my friends that has studied in Psychotherapy for years (can't remeber how many but I think its about 9 or 10 years) and she got me into a room to talk to someone else (who is a professional) as a 1:1 chat about how my anxiety has been. I have always really struggled to reach out, and infact she reached out to me after realising I wasnt checking in on her as much as usual. I always find it really difficult to express my feelings through words but I know i can because my vocabulary is a lot stronger than most people I know. The underlying challenge i have are the amount of unhealthy coping mechanisms that stop me from doing certain things, such as speaking up I definetly felt a bit better speaking to someone professionally about it and we didn't get too far into deep conversation but I have tried to book more 1:1 sessions with him for the future The thing i will say is please please please! Tell someone. I know from my own experiences that it is so SO much harder said than done and it doesnt have to be big coversations about why or how things have happened, you dont even need to know why you feel a certain way, your feelings are always valid! But just letting someone know can take a weight off of your shoulders and is really worth doing I hope you're all doing well and i hope to be engaging more in the near future, but just know I am still here, proud of every single one of you ❤️
