So yesterday was my last day on my trip! Finally!! It was ament to be 12 days if you included travel but some flights got cancelled, some trains were off time schedules and it was mayhem but the carers we were with handled it pretty well and technically made our holiday travel back home easier Day 8 was another huge walk that the carers took multiple wrong turns and really put me on edge for the day, especially since it was a hot day too, but I still found a bit of enjoyment in the walk even though my feet and the rest of my body in general ached like mad. I took multiple tests but I also had carers with me that understood and helped me along the way day 9 was a full travelling day which made me really anxious because if security and baggage checks, also got worse when I was already trying to calm myself down and them getting randomly selected for a bag check and a body scan which really make me freak out and one of my worst fears happened, which this one sounds ridiculous, but I got trapped in a public toilet. This has always been a huge fear of mine and I only go in public when I absolutely have to and I used to make someone go with me to make sure I didnt get trapped in one of them with no way out. I think a major part of that fear is the thought of being trapped with no escape but also a small bit of it being the amount of germs public toilets have. Anyways, the lock got stuck and one of the people I was with had to get security to literally pry the lock open, I had a panic attack while I was in there but I listened to a few talk downs, breathing techniques and music to calm me down and I am ok!! I was safe but it was a situation I was very uncomfortable in. Apart from that, the security and the flight in general, I would say that the day went pretty well Today was a complete rest day, and my brother gave me a cold so ive been curled up in bed with a banging headache, body hurting literally everywhere from travel and a runny blocked nose. And even though I know what all of them are from that still set off my anxiety but I haven't called anyone such as friends, family or emergency lines to help me through it!! Overall, I know ive said it a lot but im so happy I went and im so incredibly proud of myself for getting through this when I know for a fact that 2 years ago I wouldn't even think about going an hour away from home. I wish I could go back and tell myself that everything would be ok and that i was actually able to manage this trip with anxiety being sat next to me, not controlling me (if that makes sence) though I will say, I can definetly wait for the next travel 😂 Yet again, thank you for all the support from everyone in the community not just the support in the comments but also seeing all the wins you guys have been able to do really motivated me to keep going throughout the trip :)
